What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 01:50
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Can bosses get fired for being too hard on employees?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He resisted the act ,that day.
AI alone cannot solve the productivity puzzle - Financial Times
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I don,t even have a pension.
It was going to be , some day.
Should transgender Ideology be renamed "Gender Revisionism/Biological Denialism"?
So whats the point in blame.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Why does it itch on my vulva, uterus, and sides of my vagina, but it doesn't itch inside the vagina?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is soul school!.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Why do so many 18 to 29-year-old men struggle in dating?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I was scared of men, in general
I said to her
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I couldn’t, believe it.
My husband asked me why do I keep on complaining about him cheating. Why don't I just leave?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We were not on the streets..
Why are the democrats keep insisting that there are more than two genders?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Do the British people realize how much American people absolutely despise them?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Is TikTok becoming a platform for soft porn?
Ive learnt so much.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She was in good health!
Why are so many young teenage boys misogynistic? Where do they get these attitudes from?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
She found it foreign!.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I will be 64.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
But it wasn’t much.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
So, i spoilt her more .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She loved him until the end.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But, we were locked up after school.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Put me off passion for life!!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I was seconnd youngest,
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But ive been too sick for many years..
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was very sick at this time too.
She wouldn,t have been !
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
We all went to grammer schools
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I write beautiful poetry .
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
(And it was in our own minds.)
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Comes on , in middle age.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
My family never makes their pension either.
One cannot live in the past .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I could never make a relationship work though!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I think the readers, may guess!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Especially a lifetime of it.
I was 9 years of age.
And i lived it daily.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I waited trembling.
All the time i was locked up.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
What did i know ?
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Im still living with it.
I have no regrets .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Why did i forgive my father ?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
My life is so biszare .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He knew the spot.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Would this be the day?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
As i do to all so called friends.?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
When she asked me how she looked .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She married twice! .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Who then, do I blame.?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.